My seCreT PlAcE

When I say… "I am a Christian"

I’m not shouting, "I’m clean living’."

I’m whispering, "I was lost,

Now I’m found and forgiven."

When I say… "I am a Christian"

I don’t speak of this with pride.

I’m confessing that I stumble

and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say… "I am a Christian"

I’m not trying to be strong.

I’m professing that I’m weak

And need His strength to carry on.

When I say… "I am a Christian"

I’m not bragging of success.

I’m admitting I have failed

And need God to clean my mess.

When I say… "I am a Christian"

I’m not claiming to be perfect,

My flaws are far too visible

But, God believes I am worth it.

When I say… "I am a Christian"

I still feel the sting of pain.

I have my share of heartaches

So I call upon His name.

When I say… "I am a Christian"

I’m not holier than thou,

I’m just a simple sinner

Who received God’s good grace, somehow!

Last sunday really very crabby bzzz. Gt church meeting then need buy stff 4 d nite dinner then fetch up my fren at kk. but everyting is under my control at the last minit.

Yeah, need to buy balloon 4 d nite diinner at magelan Surera harbour thr,organised by our marketing club, since i 1 of the incharge 4 the nite decoration. na, ajk of deco bah, 4 imp function lagi tu.but at the last meeting at last thursday, the pengarah told us just to but the balloon for the nite. it other words, im just the balloon buyer n blower only. Gosh, AJK deco kononya!!!! sedap didengar saje tu. Anyway i really gt mant exam at assigm due to that week, soo if really ask me to think idea 4 the deco a rilly impossible 4 me lor since they held the meeting last thursday saje. since they can get the hotel managemnet to o the deco, rilly make me not soo burden lahh. need to thx dem 4 that 2.

After blowing d balloon thr terus balik bath2. some of my fren followed me too. To makes sure wont be late to the diiner, i told them that i will out of my hse at 5.30 pm since all of us r the ajk. But this din change anything 4 me. at first, yeah they eally bath n make up very fast de. then dunno what happen to them suddenly. keep tambah this n that to their face altot evting is done at first. really funny when i c dem cant make up their mind whch colour to choose bah. most imp is it mags no diffrent fr the first time n after tambah this n that to their face, wahhahhaz. soo as i had assume, we reaaly went out late, about 6.15pm like that. but i bate that o the ajk were late also de, sabah time mahh kan…

Soo whe i arrive ther, at the last minit they ask me to be the ajk 4 the registration. ok, i hav no problem 4 it since it is just a simple job saje. around 7.45, every dekan, lecturer n president of all clubz had arrive n all the ajk can enjoy their dnner. then sudd again gt 3 3rd year student baru came in n 12 registered wahh. i rily laugh sooo loud n loud in my heart. its impossible 4 d galz to sit 2gether in the same table since they r soo late n o tables almost full dy. But they still like saying tat dey had buy ticket rm50 n x told dem tat x seats 4 dem. Gosh3, we d ajk also buy d same price 4 d ticket de lo. how can u say like tat sice u yg late datang tu. but gt a  usher bring dem 2 d AJK SEATS. it means ME n MY FREN seats man.  Really mag me soo gek sam o. Datng lambat still ramaps ppl seats!!!

Then my fren just curi2 + chair 2 our table.It means d 3 late senior were in our table.( act pengarah gt say x do it de). coz if not ev1 of us (3 ppl) nid 2 sit seperatly wf o ths senior whch we x met b4. yer, like that eating only but no fun de wor sit wf dem…so we x k soo much dy.

D nite quite enjoy also. i realise act gt many lenglui senior fr our  marketing club bah. n dey rilly can sing v good… but soo sorry dat i cant c any lengzai. coz soo hard to differeinte who is lengzai nite since there is no any trullt handsome 1..hehe sorry to say dat. About food, rily teruk habis. lengpan, hamyu(salty fish) fried rice, sweet n sour fish, crispy chicken, jagung soup(2 salty), n fruits only. but d enviroment quite nice lah… programe just so so only. since there r just singing n fasion show aje. fashion show also last last minit whn the MC announce it baru they go n find ppl 1… but x bad also lahh, every1 is quite sporting participate in it…n lastly is the king n queen… hhahahz, after they announce the queen of the nite baru i realise gt a lenglui sit same table wf me bah… act is the senior who came late man. mayb 2 angry wf her at first n x notice her beauty.she is filipino mix chinese gal n only speak eng. after she get the queen ( a little bear2 4 her, hehe) terus d guys like bee rebut2 snap wf her. then king of the nite is a malay guy i think, very yau ying but not very handsome of type. hard to choose 4 the judge aslo since they r not much guyz in the dinner.

all tot evting is in last minit but still quite succeful lahh. just make it a lesson 4 us the junior 4 the experince soo tat we can do better 4 the next year. Especially 4 the pengarah really can had a deep breath n ~PHEW~ 4 that moment since she really get very stress b4 the dinner…

Feel soo tired today. I mean the whole body like WaSai, out of control la. Just lay at d sofa holding tv controller je. But my spirit is still burning… thinking back bout d playing, laughing, crazying the wholeday 4 today, hahaz…(‘’,)!!!

We d ums marketing student went karabrunei 4 family day trip. Simple place, but great memory.. the scene thr was soo peace, soo cooling altot it’s a really a xtremly HOT day… the heat was really teruk lahh sedangkan many tree was thr dy to protect us!!! Luckily the china guy YI BO bring sunblock lotion. Wfout doubts, quickly ran towards 2 pinjam fr him bah.

In d beginning, bfast was given to e1.mee goreng mamak kosong wf nescafe. Then we start the day by dividing e1 to groups wf 2^nd n 3^rd year seniors. Then we need to create a jingle 4 our own group. Markz will be given n ev groups was doing soo hard. My group choosed to sing a malay what kangkung bla bla song. We change some of the lirikz n sing as loud as we could. Keronkong also hamper putus at d moment.. nway, I think the other group was doing better than us.

Then d volley ball match was d next activity. The boyz r really having fun thr at the sand. But what happen to the galz??? Gosh, just sit under the tree watching them only. Damn bored man. The match like tak habis-habis 1. they end it when they feel hungry saje. It means the lunch time…

Luckily after lunch, no more volley ball. Fast2 d galz go n tag the life jacket n tempah 4 pisang boat, hahahz I mean the yellow banana boat. Its quite cheap then,,, RM10 4 10mnt ohhh… last time I heard it was v expensive about 50 bugz like that… so wait 4 what lagi, terus jump to the sea …

N lucky me, I met my fren thr working. Old fren but seldom contact dy.i lost my fon last year n he is not in my fon list. Tommy drive the boat 4 us 4 d pisang… hahahz really fun bah. I sit at the front n really enjoy. When the pisang had a big turn, d wave was soo great. I get wet habis2 man… but when I turn to look back my course mate… they just like sitting at d pisang only. I mean they x look having fun then. Gosh dey dun even get wet. Hahhahz… I duno what happen to dem… mayb im too huge till dey x get any drop of d water fr wave… waha3z…

We back ums at bout

4.30pm

. Sitting at the quiet bus, nobody is making noise. Mayb e1 is really super tired. Not even hav energy to tok a single words. No regret 4 d trip, d seniors is quite frenly 2. Juz regret we din tag much pic.

Ha, good… honey bi invite me to her fren`s wedding on SAT!!! Feel great man. Yape, I hate staying home at sat 9… I hate sat 9!!!  Ok, it’s a malay wedding I tot.. good also la since its quite a long time never attend a malay wedding…( Hmm…curry curry curry)

D wedding started at 8pm. But bibi came at 6pm altot she told me she ll arrive 430 0r 5pm like that wa, kononnya tu(“,)… Aiya, biasalah, sabahan time kan. oranng Sabahan ni nvr b punctual 1. just use to it then can liao. Anyway im bzz watching d bollywood comedy sambil eating my choc, no time to rush her here also.

Then this 2 orang tawau begin d journey to IP at 7pm. Y??? Coz that bibi, the 3 xin 2 yi punya lady keeping tying n untie her hair. Dunno whc to do to her hair to look better. Hei hei hei…u r right, we r attending a wedding, but d pengantin is nt bibi also. X need soo ganjiong de bah bibi!!! Ha3z…

D journey tagz about 45 mnt since we sesat at taman IP thr. We duno d road soo juz muka tebal ask the ppl bside d road. N that bibi really funny. She asked a v stupid Q.

~ ei yin, u think the person wf long hair is a lady or guy eh~

hahah, cabt stop laughing bah me. Of coz is guy lah.coz he is just wearing a saloong wfout shirt lah. If lady sure can c her bra de ma if she didn’t wear shirt… aiyo4!!!ha3z…

Anyway its nt a malay wedding. Tot can eat lotz kind of curry wa, etc:green curry la, red curry lah or purple curry I also x mind de, he3z s long s its nice!!! Anyway the food thr is quite gd also altot just gt 1 type of curry. I think me n bibi r the only who tags soo many round 4 d buffet. We keep aiming at the roasted lamb, waka3z. coz bibi say muz eat cukup2 ma since we drive 45 mnt here, cant waste d petrol(“/).

But most most most imp is d pengantin lelaki. He lookz soo sexy wearing d traditional kadazan dressing man. Showing his whole leg n braist bah, ha3 x think 2 much, im nt that yellow k. Im NOT  wipping my sliver!!!!  He is juz that kind of cute n frenly saje n juz 24 man, s u cn imagine, kan orang kadazan mostly wont b soo soi yong 1 …hahahz, so bad lah me. Kosong tangan go thr eat wanna comment2 lagi wa… 

Tot many of  d bridegroom’s colleagues will attend d wedding. Coz he work s a police ma. Sure gt many handsome or strong2 attend de ma… Anyway juz a little dissaponted  bout it lah, nt too much … coz d roasted lamb rily satisfied me, hehehez…

Wag up 7 early 8 early aslo uselss bahh… 6.30am the ums dkp is damn full of ppl dy. lining up for the courses dy. since it started at 8am. i heard gt ppl waited at d hall at 4am also, no kidding man!!!

so my strategy is registering 4 my france course 1st then follow by kokum then etnik course. we r quite front n im happy for it. but makin late, makin banyak ppl like ~cha wei~ bah. first first they will like jia jia bertegur sapa with their fren in the front thr, then they slowly lining at ur front. teruk betul lah they all .then sudd get a call in,saying dat d france course will start at 9am wah instead of 8am. huh??? if like that, better i line up 4 kokum 1st lorr. if it really start 9am,ll be finish maybe at 10am.then mayb d kokum class whc i 12 tag ths sem will be rebut by other ppl dy lor. it mags me soo diff 2 mag the decision la.

Both also tough decision. france 32 seat n other is 40 setas. whr to go first?? final decison is kokum come 1st. hahahz, thr r pack wf ppl dy loh. then i juz muka tebal thr, x k much dy, juz say excuse me thn squeeze 2 front my fren thr. feel a little ~ bei pei~ at first. But realise e1 is doin d same 2. coz if not v ll end up wf louZy course or  x gt in2 any course. thn nid 2 go lecture room rayu2 4 deir signature baru then baru go OST thr lagi 2 do gugur tambah course. then need to fish ppl who 12 gugur d course baru u can get a course. coz ev class hav a limited seat.its v imp.if ur credit hour x enough, hahaz cant graduate at the final year bah.

8.30am baru the kokum door open up 4 us. wah, sudd e1 soo fierce bahh. who is fierce n strong who get in first. e1 is sqezzing n stepping wf each other!!! u just x stand properly. dunno its a gd stuff or d opposite, bcoz of tat automatically u r push inside by d crowd. it is push, not WALK inside.

after tat v register 4 etnik course. we r ask to sit at the seat 2 wait 4 our turn. I tot situation is getting better. but hw cn i b soo stupid man!!! i had 4got tat nthg is systematic in ths uni k!!!  Y I SAY SO???!!! whn the person at front getting their turn, e1 need to move fwd right??? but whn they move fwd, u need to CRAWL fwd VERY QUICKLY too to mag sure u got a seat. if not, u r out fr the hall!!! u r out fr the course if u dont hav a seat!!!

2nd day registration. we go earlier. but at ums, no such thing as ~ d early bird will get the best~!!! things is getting worse. we arrived at 6.15am.Whn the door open at 8.15am, ev1 is running up to the front. X > saying 1st come 1st serve. it started squeezing again, pushing again. stepping each other shoes again.n the guard thr like very entertaining watching us at ths situation bah. mad me so mad man.n i really dunno what happem wf dem…schedule wrote ll start 8am but still let us in at 9am since we r at that kind of situation dy!!! soo added up 2gether, we lined up 4 3 hours, sqeezing each other, smelling the sweat of each other, stepping each other continuely almost 1 hour. Gosh, i tot i really will die thr at tht moment bah. really no space even to move ur hand to wipe ur own sweat!!! i mean its soo yucky to stick especially wf the guys who kuat peluh at ur side lah!!! yakzzzzzzz, cant think back d experience bah.

Really hope ums will improve their system n d process of registration. n ths lecture, plzzz be more punctual la k!!! plzzz treat us as human k… but i think is a far far dream 4 us!!! or nt mayb next sem, i should go n bk a electrical shirt 4 the registration man. really like a hell at ums. dunno other uni is at d same situation or juz happen at ums… haiz~~~ we cant do anything also 4 it

              Winnie is back, lijin is back too… soo happy both the kepayan po is back to kk…. Hahahaz my chu peng kou you… sorry to say that … but really miss u o  ohh… without them at kkk life really seems bored.  Yamca also seldom go liao bah.  X kaki lah, x syok then … 

Terus go cp lor,  wisma buday lor,  damai lor…  soo long din sit at Winnie car. Wahh really miss her  songs at the car n just that kinda smell in it,,hahahz!!!  Today din buy much,  just get 1 belt for myself.  But Winnie n Kelly li hai lor…  just like money will just cetak straight away fr the purse bah..  keep buying n buying saje.  N that lijin really gotta little weird today.  She just look2 see2 window shoppnh only.  Not like her zhuo fong also.  Usually she yang beli banyak2,  small bag big pack both of hand!!! Maybe go out study liao,  personality also change gua…  not just personality, size n san choi also change liao ohh my that lovely frenz.  Sooo slim liao bah ppl now.  Mag me soo Ahm Gok…hehehe (‘’,)  anyway great that their back.  Now just wait for mandy’s arrival fr singapore. .

Yeah reunion for the smls Chinese gal… or mayb fong sang, kepayan n tj aru plus putatan gal reunion??? Wateva lah…. Cheers 4 the coming reunion ….

         ( ‘ ‘ ,)  Welcome Back To KK

This Saturday just went out with fren.  Cant tahan stay at home dy.  Go salim. Yape salim coz opening school till now never been to salim dy. Uisai d roti bawang n roti bom really my fav lahhh.

Then go hair cut.  Barber ask me  wana cut wat style this time.  I juz  say simply saje  lah.  Just smtg diff fr now then can liao.  Haha I quite like it man after d 1 hour. Altot a little short but I feel so fresh man .  Feel reborn.  Feel not soo stress. Juz 1 word, suang ah… Feel great man.. (”!) hehe coz first time cut hair got diskaun lagi bah. Diskaun RM10 ohhh!!!  if know early I order Maggie goreng at salim lahh…hehehzz, act nt all about the price lahh. really feel a new yinyin now. mag me nt soo down 4 the previous exam…

Throw the pass, work hard 4 the future. That exam juz forget bout it. Plan a new plan 4 my 1 month hol. Buying a Donald Triumph  bk .Goin prayer meeting at wed. Wish to spend more time wf my mom. N also give support to my pastor. He seems dissaponted that we spend soo less time wf god. Soo  god, im coming at this Wednesday. Wait e ya…..

Bahak bahak bahak… that’s all my roommate will heard at the room the whole day…coughing n coughing n nonstop coughing from mrng till night bah. Every night will wake up at midnight bout 4 or 5pm to cough then cant zzz dy. Terpaksa open my table lamp to study lor. If not just wasting time laying at the bed cough2 saje~~

keep coughing sambil reading txt bk, rily v sanfu man… D’ sour throat, AV n bianbi also. Sakit teruk the 2 weekz b4 the exam. Baru now know health is v imp man. Nobody can tag gd k of it besides u!!! everyday need spend extra $$ go canteen 4 fruit juice. But everything is too late dy.. I should drink  more water earlier b4 getting sick. Mmmy will nt owez b thr dy,,,,

Finally  stupid exam is over.  X rily hav faith in it. Duno wat happen 2 me. Just like some kinda idiot. I study tat stupid mngt bk maybe 3 times, fr kulit 2 kulit. I mag every note 4 every chapter. I hafal it all when I finish doin each chapter. But what happen>>???<<<

During d 3 hours exam sitting at the hall. Im blank!!! Blank!!! blank!!! that’s O’ I hav. All the Q I ever hafal it dy de. But Just like my brain is x functioning or well it never been function b4?!? I do pray 4 my exam. I do study 4 it. N that’s all what I owez say to my fren b4 exam. “Dun 4get to pray ohh.” But now Just like I m feeling soo far apart fr GOD. I feel disappointed wf god at that moment.~d.o.w.n~   

&*()_+“BLUE! @#$%^”

Sitting at hall, nothing can do. Just staring my fren. Their hand none stop writing bah. Me??? Haha.. idiot sticking at the chair staring ppl only. From the pass experience I will chot n chot n chot wf my answer if I really duno do dy. N usually I really workz n I get high mark 4 my rubbisg ans. That day I chot also lanc bah. Like im giving up. I went out early 1 ½ hour from the hall. I duno what I cn regard bout. I really do study. I study more early than my fren. Mayb early 2 weekz. First time I feel soo down 4 the sub I really pout many effort in it.

Gosh man, what a movie is that, really mag me soo damn shit lah….

I really duno what happen to me actually…. I never tot this really happen to myself  b4….

I owez laugh my fren such as Mandy or Water or whatever or whover my fren it is lah….  saying that waht sooo sad lahh the movie, soo touched lahhh, too romantic lahhh. With my best best fren in tawau, Christine, we usually laugh at dem. How colud them be soo stupid. It just a movie wat, what 4 waste our tears and time or our tissue for it.

Now, every Sunday night at 9.30 pm. I cant wait 4 d movie ~I Not Stupid~. Almost week week i cry in front of the tv bah. Sorry I mean when im watching alone without my mom lahh!!! Hehehhehez… When many misunderstanding happen between the adults n their kids n sometimes thr is no chance for u to explain for it. Ai….~

. I still rmb the first time I cry during a movie is I NOT STUPID2.I watch it in the cinema wf my uncle n my cousin( biu mui n biu dai). I sit beside my biu mui lahh n suddenly she asked “u r crying ahh ying ying jie2!!!” quickly I answer “ whr got ohh, just feel a little zpy mahh”. Gosh, I just fell soo embarrassed. Y??? coz I laugh at ppl in the past who drop their tears 4 the movie…

Usually im not that kind of soo emotional person. Im d kind of ppl that warm up very very, I mean xrremly very terrible super SLOW.I still remember last time when im staying alone at tawau. My mom work in kk n my dad work at Melaka. I owez felt soo proud of myself being soo independent n tough. I cook myself, wash the cloth, find my own transport for tuition n blab la bla…by the way,  my mom one or two mom will come n visit me. I never cry at the airport when I sent her off to kk altot we see each other mayb once a month. I dun feel anything. But it DUN mean I dun love my mom. But just straight a way when I got home or maybe after a couple of hours, I will just feel incredible sad or lonely. I will cry at the room.

Just felt this couple of years getting more n more emotional. I dun really like this. In my opinion better dun kacau ppl stuff lah. It is Better keep in quiet to keep out of trouble. I dun trust in ppl or rely on them or their will sabotage u. coz  No one is perfect in this world n I admit that so do i. So I keep in my mind to keep a distant with my fren to avoid any  conflict